tv The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon NBC May 19, 2016 11:34pm-12:38am PDT
a perfect trip, the giants have been undefeated since 1913. they strike out the padres and san diego tonight, great pitching. tomorrow the first place, giants are back in san francisco, hosting the chicago's cubs. guess where the game is on tomorrow and on what channel? >> right here, right here? >> right here on nbc bay area. welcoming home the giants. >> good answer. >> thank you. they're going to win here, too. >> thank you, have a great friday morning. >> bye-bye. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- seth rogen. fred armisen. musical guest, corinne bailey rae.
and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 475, connecticut! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, hey, please enjoy yourselves. thank you! thank you. and welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome to "the tonight show." this is it. [ cheers and applause ] this is the show. here you are. you're watching "the tonight show." you're here. thank you, guys. here's who people are talking about. "the new york times" just did a a big profile on donald trump, and revealed that he has
life-sized portraits of ronald reagan and john wayne at his campaign headquarters. [ laughter ] and if you don't see them right away, it's because they're right behind a 25-foot tall portrait of donald trump. [ laughter and applause ] it's right behind -- if you move it out of the way, you maybe can see a little bit of john wayne. howdy. howdy, pilgrim. [ laughter ] >> steve: here you go again. >> jimmy: meanwhile, donald trump's campaign manager recently compared himself to the jockey who rides american pharoah. [ light laughter ] which is ironic, because if he gets elected, donald trump will change the title of president to american pharoah. [ laughter and applause ] "i will build my own pyramid. everyone will live in pyramids." cnn is reporting that mitt romney has given up on trying to recruit an independent candidate to run against donald trump. yeah. you can tell romney is depressed, because last night, he drank an entire bottle of ginger ale. [ laughter and applause ] he just went for it.
went for it. there's actually some good news out of washington. i read that for the third year in a row, washington d.c. was named the fittest city in the u.s. namely because michele obama goes around slapping pizza out of everyone's hands. hey, is that pizza? [ slapping ] pizza? [ slapping ] come here. can i have a bite of that pizza? [ slapping ] [ laughter ] i'm the first lady, you want me to sign that pizza? come here. [ slapping ] [ laughter ] speaking of pizza, i saw that josh groban recently posted a a photo of a pizza someone made that's actually a portrait of him. this is real. take a look at this. [ laughter ] pretty cool. you know, that customer was like, "hey, i ordered half groban, half buble. what's going on?" [ laughter and applause ] [ slapping ] got some violent people.
what's wrong with people? >> steve: wow. she does not want people eating pizza. >> jimmy: i couldn't believe this. >> steve: she slapped the pizza right out of my hand. >> jimmy: well, you can't beat that pizza. one? hold my glove, please. [ slapping ] [ laughter ] hand me my glove back. [ slapping ] [ laughter ] still the same sound effect. very interesting. yeah. one was my hand, the other was my glove. >> steve: just a lighter glove. >> jimmy: a lighter glove. thank you very much. [ slapping ] [ laughter ] i apologize. my fault. some tv news. cbs announced that season 33 of "survivor" will be called "survivor: millennials versus gen-x." it'll start in september, and end 20 minutes later when both teams realized there's no wi-fi. [ laughter and applause ] "can we get a signal, man? jeff, what is this?"
that's right. the next "survivor" will be millennials versus gen-x. they say the winner will come down to those who can't to those who can't even. [ laughter and applause ] i can't even. [ laughter ] can i have a bite of that pizza? [ slapping ] [ laughter ] hello, mrs. obama. this is cool. i read that leonardo dicaprio bought an $18,000 chanel bag for his mom while attending the cannes film festival. i would buy my mom a nice bag, too, but then she'd have to transfer all of her ketchup packets from her purse. [ laughter ] "you never know when you'll need them, jimmy." yeah, i think i do. i think i know when i'm going to need them. "want an old breath mint with lint on it?" no, thanks, mom. thank you very much. "i took the first one off. the second one's just as fresh. it's just like a brand --"
i don't need it, mom. i'm good, thanks. >> steve: have some pop rocks. >> jimmy: see what you think about this. there's a new study that finds that most people have something called unethical amnesia, where they can't remember mistakes they made, but have no problem remembering other people's mistakes. [ laughter ] or as most couples put it, "well that's never happened to me, but he does it all of the time." [ cheers and applause ] it's something you do. i remember. [ applause ] and finally, the "wall street journal" just reported that america has a surplus of cheese and that every person in the country would have to eat an extra three pounds of cheese this year to get rid of it. [ cheers and applause ] so the next time the pizza guy judges you for ordering extra cheese, just say, "i'm doing this for america." [ cheers and applause ] [ slapping ] we have a great show! give it up for the roots, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
well, not really. i knew him when he first started on "saturday night live." i was going to say i knew him back in the day, but i didn't. >> steve: right. you didn't know him till -- >> jimmy: i didn't know him until lorne discovered him and "saturday night live" made him a star. >> steve: yeah. but then -- >> jimmy: i take credit for all his success. >> steve: yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: i have nothing to do with his success at all. >> steve: but you take credit. >> jimmy: i definitely take credit for it. >> steve: yeah, why not? >> jimmy: yeah, i'm, like, dude. you should thank me for your career. [ slapping ] [ laughter ] he's one of the funniest, best dudes ever, and he's hosting the season finale. this is a big deal when you're a cast member, you're a cast member and it's the best thing ever. but now he's hosting the season finale of "saturday night live," fred armisen is dropping by. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: freddy. >> jimmy: i love fred armisen. and we have great music from grammy award-winner corinne bailey rae! [ cheers and applause ] fantastic. guys, it is time for "tonight show hashtags." here we go.
[ cheers and applause ] ♪ hashtags hashtags ♪ >> jimmy: you guys, anyone out there on twitter? you guys use twitter at all? [ cheers and applause ] well we use twitter on our show every single week, so if you watch our show and want to play along with us, we do this thing where every wednesday, i will send out a hashtag. we'll flash it on the screen or i'll tweet it out or something like that. i'll tell you what the hashtag is and we ask you guys to tweet out things based on the topics we give you. so since the movie "neighbors 2: sorority rising" is in theaters tomorrow, i went on twitter and sent out a hashtag called "my weird neighbor." [ laughter ] i asked you guys to tweet out something funny, weird or embarrassing that your neighbor has said or done. we got thousands of tweets. within 30 minutes it was a a trending topic in the u.s. so thank you for those tweets. i appreciate that. [ cheers and applause ] now i thought i'd share some of my favorite #myweirdneighbor tweets from you guys. here we go.
this first one is from @heartwell 17. he says, "my neighbor asked me if i smelled anything funny the other night. i said, 'no.' he replied, 'good.'" [ laughter ] you didn't see anything either, did you? >> steve: you didn't smell like a corpse, did you? >> jimmy: this is from @itsazina. she says, "i was taking a a shower and singing 'believe' by cher and at the chorus part i heard my neighbor singing it with me." [ laughter and applause ] ♪ do you believe in life after love after love after love ♪ thin walls. >> steve: did i hit that note? [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: this one is from @matthewhosey. he says, "he would work on his car every day. after two months i offered to help him. he said, 'it's not broken, i just hate my family.'" [ laughter and applause ] gotcha, buddy. cool. have a great day. take care, buddy. good to see you. bye, jeff!
>> steve: you didn't smell anything? >> jimmy: no, i didn't smell anything. this one's from @chancecarnahan. he says, "our new neighbors thought our wi-fi was our last name, so they gave us a card addressed to the linksys family." [ laughter and applause ] linksys. i'm gary linksys, this is my wife susan linksys. >> steve: this is our son, wi-fi. my wifey. >> jimmy: this is my wifey. mrs. linksys." >> steve: my broadband. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: this is our dog, password 123. [ laughter ] good dog. this one's from @herbmays. he says, "my neighbor decorated my dead tree with empty bud light cans, then sent me a text saying my tree was budding." [ laughter and applause ] thank you. that was pretty good. [ cheers and applause ] that's not bad. >> steve: come on! ♪ that and ding dong. this last one is from @gerardbrown. he says, "my neighbor told me
he was thinking of putting a a skylight in his apartment. he lived below me." well, thank you for letting me know. there's our "tonight show hashtags." check out more of our favorites. go to tonightshow.com/hashtags. we'll be right back with seth rogen, everybody! seth rogen. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, roots. we are joined right now by a a very funny, very popular comedian, writer, and director. he stars alongside zac efron and rose byrne in a highly anticipated comedy sequel opening tomorrow called "neighbors 2: sorority rising." please welcome back to the show, one of our favorites, here is seth rogen, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
>> jimmy: new york city, they love you, man! >> thank you. >> jimmy: they love the seth rogen. yeah. >> that was dope. >> jimmy: yeah, that was. yeah. you can't -- no. [ cheers and applause ] >> that was nice. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: you can't say dope. >> oh, you can't say that on nbc, right? >> jimmy: no. you just can't say it around your fans. >> oh, yeah. exactly. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: good to see you here. yeah. how are you, buddy? everything good? you look sharp. >> i'm great. >> jimmy: you look good as always. >> i'm fantastic. i squeezed into a suit. feeling good. >> jimmy: you look sharp, buddy. >> thank you. >> jimmy: we have a lot to talk about. >> yes. >> jimmy: 'cause i love the movie and i also wanna talk about you have a bunch of projects going on. but this sunday at 10:00 p.m. on amc is a show called "preacher." >> yes. which i executive produced and we directed the pilot and we've been trying for, like, ten years to make it. it's my favorite comic book ever. >> jimmy: what is "preacher?" i'm not sure. i don't know about it. >> it's super confusing to explain. >> jimmy: okay. >> 'cause it has a very large world. it's essentially about a a preacher with a dark past who is trying to redeem himself and he's kind of a drunk preacher
in texas. and then his best friend is a a vampire. [ laughter ] and he gets inhabited with a a supernatural entity that gives him powers and his ex-girlfriend is an assassin. [ laughter ] so it's one of those shows. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. been there, done that. >> yeah, exactly. >> jimmy: i've seen that. yeah, yeah. no, i'm excited to see it because everyone is saying this, like, could be like the new "walking dead." or just -- it's one of those things. so i'm excited by that. congratulations. >> it's exciting, yeah. thank you. >> jimmy: so the last time you were here i was so happy your mom and dad were in the audience. >> they were. it was so nice. >> jimmy: it was great. and they're really cool and we were talking to your dad. your dad had like a nice hunting shirt on. >> he does wear that, yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it was like -- the one -- but there's no hunting here. everyone knows that. >> no, he's never hunted. yes. >> jimmy: he's never hunted at all? >> no. [ laughter ] he's a jew from new jersey. he's never -- yeah. >> jimmy: from new jersey. [ laughter ] he had like -- yeah. but he looked cool and then he also he was wearing a purse. >> yes. >> jimmy: do you remember this? >> he wears a purse.
i remember because he wears a a purse. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: but i thought that was just a bit for the thing. >> no, no, no, no, no, no. my dad fully wears, like, a a woman's lesportsac purse. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: a lesportsac. >> a lesportsac. am i saying -- i think that's the pronunciation. >> jimmy: yeah but i don't know if that counts a purse. does it? no. >> it's a purse! >> jimmy: yeah. this is a full-on -- yeah. >> it's a full-on purse. >> jimmy: and he's so use to this. >> he started wearing -- one day i was just like, "what's with the purse, dad?" and he's just like, "i got too much stuff for my pockets!" [ laughter ] and i was like, as far as a a reason to have a purse goes, that's a pretty solid one. >> jimmy: but they were very supportive parents of you and they love you. >> hugely supportive. yeah. they drove me to every comedy show i ever did, my mom. 'cause i started when i was 13, and so i had no driver's license and so my mom would drive me to shows and watch me tell jokes. >> jimmy: and where was this? was this in canada? >> in vancouver, british columbia, yeah. >> jimmy: vancouver. >> yeah. and my first show i did was at a lesbian bar -- [ cheers ] called the lotus, which is a
a flower. [ laughter ] i didn't understand at the time. i thought it was ladies night. i didn't get, like -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. you're like, "it's all ladies here." >> like, all these ladies here. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: good crowd. >> yeah. >> jimmy: it's a good -- >> it was a good crowd. >> jimmy: ladies night. yeah. >> and it was really decorated, like, there were lotus, and i didn't get it at the time, i guess, the metaphor, but i was like, "wow. they like really like really close-up pictures of blooming flowers in this place." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. and then slowly you got it. >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. >> not till like years later, i was like, "wait a minute." no i was -- i think someone was telling me about georgia o'keefe and i was like, "oh, no! i get it now. [ laughter ] those were vaginal flowers!" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's not -- vaginal flowers -- that is your twitter handle? >> that is my twitter handle. @vaginalflowers. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: at -- at -- >> @sethrogen. [ applause ] >> jimmy: yeah. we have a clip of you, we
talked to your parents, of you doing stand-up at around 13. >> oh, man. >> jimmy: 13 or 14. this is just doing some stand-up. random material. you're a very good comedian. i loved watching it. you're young. [ laughter ] >> i actually don't know what you're about to show. >> jimmy: young seth rogen doing stand-up. watch this. >> how come all of us have learned the alphabet so many years ago, we still have to do this. looking up a name in the phone book. oh, it's smith. ♪ a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s ♪ [ laughter ] ♪ a b c d e f g h i j k l m ♪ [ laughter and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: come on. >> it's not a bad bit. that jinxed the bit. >> jimmy: that's a great bit. >> the fact that i was dealing with an analog phone book at that time really -- >> jimmy: yeah. >> yeah. it anchors the bit in a really dated time. >> jimmy: isn't it fun? how many times did you do that bit? >> not that many. that was my problem as a
a comedian is once i told a a joke once i was like, "all right." and then i didn't want to tell it again and you can't do that if you're a comedian. you have to refine your material over and over again. >> jimmy: exactly. build an act. >> yeah. i didn't do that. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: well you probably put every joke into every single thing you've done now. >> exactly. >> jimmy: i mean, out of all of the comedies you do. "neighbors 2: sorority rising" opens this weekend. so basically it's you and rose byrne. >> yes. >> jimmy: and zac efron who was here last night. >> he's very awesome. >> jimmy: i love that guy. >> he's very sympathetic. you feel bad for zac efron, which you have no reason to. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, he's a very -- yeah. almost the opposite. >> yeah, exactly. >> jimmy: you should 'cause he's such a good-looking guy. >> you have every reason to -- yeah. [ cheers ] he's like the most -- yeah. >> jimmy: he has everything going for him. but yeah, he is sympathetic. >> he has everything going for him, but in the movie especially you really feel bad for him. and it's kind of like the greatest performance thing in the entire world because nothing about him should you feel bad for. [ laughter ]
in any way, shape, or form. >> jimmy: exactly. >> yeah. >> jimmy: he's talented, he can sing and dance, and he's good looking. the whole thing. >> yeah. he's got it all. >> jimmy: but yet, in this movie, yeah, he loses his job as a shirtless model for abercrombie & fitch. >> yeah. [ laughter ] well they don't -- they get rid of the -- they make them start wearing shirts. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and so he feels useless, basically. yes. he's just a guy in a shirt. he doesn't like that. >> jimmy: he doesn't enjoy that. >> yeah. and so he has no, he's kinda going through, like, a a quarter-life crisis. which -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: which i believe is a a new term. >> it is a new term. >> jimmy: a quarter-life crisis. >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. >> the millennials, they're having them. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: so basically the house next to you is not a a fraternity any more and you're going to sell the house because you're having another child. >> we're having another baby and then a sorority moves in next door who -- well, it's a bunch of girls trying to start a sorority that has the right to party, which is not a legal right. but the symbolic right to party. because sororities in america are not allowed to party in their own houses. >> jimmy: i didn't know that until i saw the movie. that is true? >> it is actually true. we did not make that up for the movie. >> jimmy: wow. interesting. >> those are the type of social issues that i'm tackling. [ laughter ]
>> jimmy: yeah. good for you. [ cheers and applause ] that's what i'm talking about. good for you. >> thank you. >> jimmy: thank you. >> yes. i appreciate it. >> jimmy: sororities should be able to throw a party. >> young girls should be allowed to drink in their own home. >> jimmy: yeah they should. but they're great. chloe grace moretz. >> yes. >> jimmy: is one of the girls. it starts with the whole gang. everybody is hilarious in this. everyone has a good laugh. and i want to show a clip here. this is basically, you're telling them, "don't throw parties. we're trying to sell the house. just be cool for, like, 60 days or something." >> yeah. for 30 days while we're in escrow and we called their parents which they hate. and so they wage war on us because we got their parents involved. >> jimmy: and one way they get back at you is just use your front yard as sunbathing. >> they use their sexuality as a weapon against me. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> because they know how uncomfortable i am. >> jimmy: so here's seth on his way to work. okay. seth rogen and the sorority sisters who are trying to ruin his life in "neighbors 2," in theaters tomorrow. check this out. ♪ >> hey, mac. ♪
>> hey. i see more of you have moved in. yeah. this is private property, trespassing. >> hey, mac, looks like bethy's putting suntan lotion on her. [ cheers ] ♪ >> get out of here you animals! [ cheers ] >> this isn't working! you're only making them sexier! [ cheers ] i don't like it! i don't like it! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you're only making them sexier! seth rogen and i are going to do some stand-up after the break. stick around, everybody. it's good. "neighbors 2." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ how does this world, help you experience this world? oh man i've only been to one place! oh i have a great idea
maybe i can go to the rainforest. any ideas for my little one's first big trip. every mastercard world card comes with a concierge who can help you book a dream trip, arrange experiences and much more. hey, you're going to need more of these. learn more at priceless.com/world dove men+care. the strength test. like leather, skin is stronger when it's hydrated. that's why dove men+care bodywash has a unique hydrating formula to leave skin healthier and stronger.
a prince wants to give us 20 million dollars, he just needs our social security numbers. we're gonna be rich!!! the first spam was sent by telegraph in 1864. put some flavor in your break. make time for snapple. which urgent care do you want to try this time? this one's only a mile away. oooo, and it's in-network. this is our best idea yet. steve! steve! steve! so close. it's not always easy to control your enthusiasm. but with unitedhealthcare it's easy to find quick care options
and compare costs. that's my husband. let me try this. second time's a charm. oh there goes mine. unitedhealthcare where have you been? i had to put on my jeans by myself! i am so sorry. this personal essay is way harder than i thought. it's just not in my nature to brag on myself. not even a backdoor brag? what's a backdoor brag? sneaking something wonderful about yourself into everyday conversation, like when i tell people i can't watch musicals 'cause i have perfect pitch. (announcer vo) some carriers promise unlimited streaming, but then shrink your videos so they're not hd quality. it's not pretty. switch to verizon now, buy a galaxy s7 edge and get one free. plus up to $650 back. only on america's best network.
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. welcome back. i'm hanging out with the hilarious seth rogen. now seth, before the break we showed a clip of you doing stand up when you were 13. >> yes. >> jimmy: well last week, we actually asked kids at home to send us some of their best jokes, and i thought tonight it would be fun for each of us to perform those jokes as an actual stand-up set. does that sound good? >> yeah. let's do that. >> jimmy: it's time for "kid stand-up." here we go. ♪ ♪ kid stand-up [ laughter ] >> steve: ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the "tonight show", kid stand-up. every joke you hear tonight was written by actual kids age 5 to 10. now, please, welcome your first comedian, mr. seth rogen! ♪ ♪ >> thank you! thank you! it's great to be here. [ cheering ] hey. thank you!
i've got a question. what did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? >> audience: what? >> answer, we're both lawyers. [ laughter and applause ] hey, here's something i noticed the other day. how many ears does captain kirk have? >> audience: how many? >> his left ear, his right ear and his final frontier. [ applause ] that's an old reference for a a 10-year-old. [ laughter ] very dated. let's see what else is going on. [ laughter ] they wrote segues, too. that was very nice of them. [ laughter ] the invisible man went to the doctor. the nurse told the doctor, "the invisible man is here." the doctorsaid, "tell him i can't see him right now." [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: that was a great one!
[ applause ] >> i'm taking these laughs as if they're my own, even though they're not technically my laughs. they're child's laughs. [ laughter ] i'll leave you guys with this one. [ laughter ] what did dr. frankenstein say about his dog's drool? >> audience: what? >> it's s-alive-a! [ laughter and applause ] thank you all. that's it for me. you've been great! thank you. i'm seth rogen! [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: funny, funny stuff! now, ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for the next comedian, mr. jimmy fallon! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much. thank you, it's fallon. it's fallon, actually. yeah, it's fallon. [ changes voice ] hey you guys -- [ laughter ] i'm doing a character for this.
[ laughter ] did you hear about the two antennas that got married? >> audience: no! >> jimmy: it was a nice ceremony, but the reception was amazing. [ cheers and applause ] what else? what else? what else? [ laughter ] oh! where does the president keep his armies? >> audience: where? >> jimmy: in his sleevies. [ laughter ] it looks like i'm getting the light. looks like i'm getting the light. [ laughter ] i have one more for you. why did they give elsa from frozen a balloon? >> audience: why? >> because she'll let it go, let it go. thank you very much! [ cheers and applause ] now we'll bring in our first talent, mr. seth rogen, everybody. once again, seth. ♪ >> jimmy: great set. >> thank you, you too. great set. hot crowd. >> jimmy: how about we close
out the show together with some two-man jokes? >> let's do it. i love it. hey jimmy. >> jimmy: yeah? >> knock, knock. >> jimmy: who's there? >> arch. >> jimmy: arch who? >> god bless you. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, seth. knock, knock. >> who's there? >> jimmy: broken pencil. >> broken pencil who? >> jimmy: forget it, it's pointless. [ applause ] >> you got me. [ laughter ] hey, jimmy, why did the chicken cross the road? >> jimmy: i don't know, why? >> to get to the idiot's house. knock, knock. >> jimmy: who's there? >> the chicken! >> jimmy: oh, come on -- [ cheers and applause ] my thanks to seth rogen. check out "neighbors 2: sorority rising" in theaters tomorrow! we'll be right back with fred armisen ladies and gentlemen! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ what's it like to be in good hands?
man, it's like pure power at your finger tips. like the power to earn allstate reward points, every time i drive. ...want my number? and cash back for driving safe. and the power to automatically find your car... i see you car! and i got the power to know who's coming and when if i break down. ...you must be gerry. hey... in means getting more from your car insurance with the all-powerful drivewise app. it's good to be in, good hands. if you have allergy congestion muddling through your morning is nothing new. introducing rhinocort® allergy spray from the makers of zyrtec®. powerful relief from nasal allergy symptoms, all day and all night. try new rhinocort® allergy spray.
all day and all night. if you've ever been lured in straight talk. by a low price wireless plan then there's not enough high-speed data or your bill is packed with overages and mystery fees... stop falling for it! with straight talk's unlimited plan, you get america's largest, most dependable 4g lte networks. no contract, no tricks. and five gigs of high-speed data for just forty-five dollars a month. it's time to ask yourself... why haven't i switched? get a samsung galaxy s7 or bring your own phone. find out more at straighttalkswitch.com that's not fair, he should give you your rollerblades back. anddddd, she's back. storm coming? a very dangerous cheese storm. so you have 20 more bags. mhm. my yoga instructor calls it the death spiral. i call it living the dream. presenting the american express blue cash everyday card with cash back on purchases and no annual fee. see you tomorrow. cash back on purchases. backed by the service and security of american express.
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is the emmy-nominated co-creator, writer and star of the very funny shows "portlandia" and "documentary now" and is also a a cast member on "saturday night live" for 11 seasons and he's back hosting the show's season finale this weekend. everyone, welcome fred armisen! ♪ >> jimmy: "freddy." >> thank you. >> jimmy: were did it all begin.
>> it started with a cloud that spoke to me. >> jimmy: commercial! lll we're back. where did it end? lll how are you? >> how are you? >> jimmy: fred armisen, you are hosting "saturday night live." pcpc hosting, hosting! >> i had no idea. it's incredible. the whole thing is so surreal. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and it all goes by in a blur and it's so fast. i remember when you hosted i always thought "why is he always running off somewhere?" it is really busy and you have one thing after another and so much promo and all that stuff. plus i got to do this thing. i want to be there. lll no but i just remember -- no, but i just remember you always running off and i'm, like, "where is he going? we were just talking." but there's always some place else to go. >> jimmy: there's like a a thousand things. you have to do commercials for the show, telling people to watch. >> yeah. >> jimmy: it's you, courtney barnett -- >> yes! >> jimmy: she's is amazing. i love her. >> yeah. first time i saw her was on this show. >> jimmy: oh, she's fantastic! >> so great. >> jimmy: yeah, i just love
her. you guys will be perfect together, and i found out the buzz from everybody upstairs. >> yeah. >> jimmy: it's going to be a a good show. >> it's going to be great. >> jimmy: it's gonna be fantastic. they love having you there. >> season finale. it's a party and everyone's in a good mood. summertime's starting. >> jimmy: it is. >> yeah. ccc >> jimmy: well, i just know you so well that i feel like i can read your mind right now. i can that you're very excited. >> you've known me a long time. so yeah, you're right about that. i don't know how you just got right in there. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i'm going to write something down. >> sure. >> jimmy: and then i'm going to see if you can guess what i wrote. >> i'm going to turn away from you. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right. i wrote something down there. to help out, i have a mind reading orb.
>> okay. is your card's covered? >> jimmy: the card is down. you can't see the card. i have a mind reading orb. let's both put our hands on it, it would help us. got this when i was in new mexico. [ laughter ] [ clears throat ] ♪ [ laughter ] >> germanic origin -- no, it's a latin word. latin. no, i feel -- noun? pronoun? no noun. lll you're funny. a vowel. i see conjuring of -- might it be, i don't know, an archer. archery. archery. archery.
dark -- dark. dark -- chocolate. chocolate. chocolate. >> jimmy: that's it. chocolate! my word was lemon. lll >> you laugh, but lemon, of course is the latin for, "of sweetness." which they use as "chococa." which is "chocolate." lll lemon and chocolate because of the sugar content. >> jimmy: that's it. lplp >> how crazy! we're, like, the same dude. pcpc >> that's crazy. it almost scares me a little bit. >> jimmy: you try and i'll see if i can get it because i've known you for how many years. i discovered you, remember? >> of course i do. lll >> jimmy: i found you in the basement. you use to preform in the basement. you were so funny. >> i remember calling your agent and saying, hey, the guy you represent -- [ laughter ] >> and you had to remind him of my name. >> jimmy: the guy who's been on "saturday night live" for four years, he's really good. >> i'll show you. >> jimmy: show camera one.
i'm not looking, but i'm already feeling it. [ laughter ] okay. >> okay? are you ready? >> jimmy: yeah. yeah. i'm ready. all right. [ clearing throat ] lll >> jimmy: oh, that's -- that's sad. it's very sad. lll i mean, think of this. it's, like, oh, that's cool. the '80s were fun. lll the '80s were fun. that's when we all had fun in the '80s. >> it's fun, in the 80's. its' fun. >> jimmy: like yogurt. and they're the clique and the
rubik's cube. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and music >> yeah. >> jimmy: and videos. >> jimmy: and video games, yeah. and video lasers and then it got real serious. >> yes, it did. >> jimmy: war. news. >> reality. >> jimmy: that's right. >> exactly. >> jimmy: and that's why you wrote down something that would just trigger -- what is the opposite of war? >> peace. >> that's exactly right. >> jimmy: can i have a piece of chocolate? no, you can't. >> oh, why? >> jimmy: because we're not talking about food, man. lll i'm talking about fashion. i'm talking about icons. i'm talking about madonna. >> this is what it is. >> jimmy: of course. wheel. guess who invented the wheel?
cave men probably. lll >> cave men. leonardo da vinci who made the madonna, who created the madonna. >> jimmy: hello? created the madonna. it had something to do with the wheel -- and created pop music? madonna. >> madonna. >> jimmy: i read your mind. ♪ pcpc >> jimmy: i'm almost exhausted. i'm almost exhausted. >> you got in there. >> jimmy: i got in there real quick. >> let's just do a quick one real quick. we don't have to write this one down. just think about it. and think of a three-letter word and when we're ready and on the count of three we'll say what each other were thinking -- yeah, just put a finger on there. you're thinking about it already and you jumped right in there. that's so funny. >> you're being sneaky. [ british accent ] >> jimmy: you're being naughty! >> that's not nice! >> jimmy: you're a naughty baby, aren't you? lll you're a cheeky little baby. >> no. >> jimmy: yeah, you're a little school girl. aren't you? >> no i'm not!
>> jimmy: don't do that. here we go. that's right. [ southern accent ] no, you're down south right here, now. lll a three-letter word. [ midwest accent ] >> but we're going north to the midwest here. >> jimmy: now we're -- and we're going there. >> yeah. [ russian accent ] >> jimmy: you're going to russia, that's where you are now. >> we went to russia. >> jimmy: in my country -- in my country, thoughts think of you. lll that's right. >> that's right. that's right. >> right. >> jimmy: and the word is -- cat! >> ant! >> jimmy: hey we did it! >> i love you! ♪ pcpc >> jimmy: we read each other's minds. fred armisen is hosting the season finale of "saturday night live," this weekend, with musical guest courtney barnett, don't miss it. corinne bailey rae is performing for us after the show. stick around everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
♪ ♪ ♪ 794, you are ahead of schedule. folks we've hit some, uh, interesting weather here... ...shouldn't interrupt our beverage service. i've heard it raining cats and dogs before, but this is getting ridiculous! be sure to pack those umbrellas and take care out there! whatever the world throws at us, we'll be helping planes, trains, power grids, and hospitals run smoothly. we're ready for whatever you've got, world.
only one network gives you more than just great coverage. it's t-mobile! only t-mobile's lets you stream video and music - for free! and we doubled our lte coverage in the last year. the other guys can't say that! we got you covered. for every 10 nights i stay, i get one free.s rewards program is simple. this however, will not be simple. you gotta ride the belt, captain obvious. i have liquids in my body! athe best things in the life are real. so we brew iced tea the way you brew it at home. for real, delicious, leaf-brewed iced tea. pure and simple. pure leaf. for the love of leaves. ♪rock-a-bye stacy ♪running non-stop. ♪lifting up patients... ♪...changing their socks. ♪you're sore and you're beat
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tonight's musical guest, she has a great voice. she's a grammy award-winning singer-songwriter who is out with a third album, "the heart speaks in whispers." performing "green aphrodisiac," please welcome corinne bailey rae. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ laying in the grass in the afternoon something kind of magical in sunlight ♪ ♪ flowers uncurl in the garden shoots are coming up again it's springtime ♪ ♪ it's new like the day i saw your eyes green like the leaves i'm falling in love again ♪ ♪ it's a blue sky
blossom leaf falls in a slow dance swaying got me in a trance ♪ ♪ so high ♪ it's all green on you and i want to spend it with you ♪ ♪ lost in your wonderland green aphrodisiac kiss me your lips taste of honey ♪ ♪ songbirds and bees start a-hummin' come to my wonderland green aphrodisiac ♪ ♪ the same thing that grows in the garden flows in me and you ♪ ♪ i want to go where all the rainbows start and flow ♪ ♪ just when i thought
it was not to be holiest of mysteries it's all green ♪ ♪ and everything that i have planted has grown and all it needed was time ♪ ♪ earth water and the sunlight ♪ ♪ down to the middle lost in your wonderland green aphrodisiac ♪ ♪ kiss me your lips taste of honey songbirds and bees start a-hummin' ♪ ♪ come to my wonderland green aphrodisiac ♪ the same thing that grows in the garden flows in me and you ♪ ♪ i want to go where all
the rainbows start and flow how could i know it was sunday ♪ ♪ how could i know you would take over my mind ♪ ♪ i want to know where all the flowers unfold 'cause i know that the same thing grows ♪ ♪ in the garden flows in me and you ♪ ♪ green aphrodisiac green aphrodisiac kiss me your lips taste of honey ♪ ♪ songbirds and bees start a-hummin' ♪ ♪ ooh i want to go with you ohh ahh foolin' around with you ooh ♪ ♪ oh yeah oh oh na na na na na
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to seth rogen, fred armisen, corinne bailey rae! [ cheers and applause ] and the roots right there from philadelphia, pennsylvania. stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night. i hope to see you tomorrow. bye-bye, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- zac efron, host of the "wendy williams show", wendy williams, chef of le bernadin and author eric ripert, featuring the 8g band with allison miller. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers! >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] fantastic to hear. just fantastic to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. according to a new fox news poll, donald trump leads hillary clinton nationally by 3%. of course, it's a fox news poll so participants were asked, "do you prefer donald trump or benghazi von emails?" [ laughter ]